September 24, 2017

more bro chatter

Niall's mum didn't just bring up our uncle at that meal pretty sure she brought up now too and told us not to blog about you as well and said we knew what would happen to us if we did. We asked what would happen to and she said we knew and we said we didn't or wouldn't of asked. Think it was at this point that Julie jumped in and impatiently told her mum to leave it, it she was nagging me about getting a job or how I was dressed or something. We were kinda glad it happened and not just because when another dinner who was an obvious slaver came over and put his hand on our shoulder and told me I would overcome a younger lad at his table said "Dad I'm gonna kill you." but also because we no longer had any notions of their being any resistance in the entire family. She said it all in front of the Niall's nephews who were all bairns at the time and they were completely nonchalant to a little excited by it.

They came to the door in Fintry those lads but we were their enough to let them in. There was constant calls from Lesley trying to trigger, get info, threaten etc until we got enough support from the dumbass Earth tech companies to stop it. Big important call from Niall back then to asking we wouldn't let Ewen Warren come and visit. Cant remember all of it but we knew it was going to happen. He said he didn't understand why I wouldn't let my friend Bunny come and help me and we said that everything Ewie had said to us over the phone was a massive lie. He said something about us being confused and we said we were often not as confused as we appear we had just been forced to act like that so stupid people think they are powerful, that ignoring everything someone tells you about themselves and believing others is very disrespectful and that it someone is confused they certainly can't be helped by being surrounded by people who tell them constant big whoppers.  Can't remember it all but we were very glad to be free of whatever tech makes the Andersons scary to someone with my education and training.

So much of Scotland involved in keeping us down and apart Paul the entire time. Think we overhear one of the staff telling Niall's mum not to bring me in there again, she would be welcome of course but the rest of the Cruden Bay Golf Club dinners prefer their slaves to be rarely seen and never, ever heard.

So glad I can think about you again. Hope your amnesia isn't dropping too fast but not too slow either. It's shit here without anyone.

September 23, 2017

For my brother Paul

Love and miss you Paul thank you for keeping me alive after our uncle died. Feel like I should be so relieved and happy that things aren't as they were but we are struggling with all the trauma recall especially since the cold is still hanging around and we are skint, weedless out of decent dose codiene and won't have any non food money until a week on Tuesday. Not phoning Niall though, been getting fair bit of dough of him recently and its humiliating and triggering.  Think there is a lot more non slaver peoples out there that know what he is and that helps even if nothing has happened yet. Remembered today how when they had the fake coupling between any of us they could get their hands on and Niall, we went to dinner with him and his family and saw her talking to enforcer slavers and during the meal she apoligised to us for our uncle.. Whoever was the "Louise" though was prepared and had answers and switches ready to get through it without crumbling in front of them. Seeing the looks on people who thought they were helping keep us safe after the came out of the Niall and the Andersons tent meant so much to us. We didn't have anything to say to them they ignored the evidence for an easy life year after year still though seeing them half dead from exposure to the truth felt like we could be for the first time here ever.

We keep thinking of his scars and injuries, how he always brought us back after whatever they had done to us and how many people spent so long trying to find him but white supremacist Earth and their handlers in the intergalactic slaver co  wouldn't have it.

Remembering going through some smushed enslavement and terror tech footage  with you, that was funny.


 Hope to see you really soon, we need lots and lots and lots of big bro hugs. Stat.

Rosie

September 22, 2017

Mai

Oh Mum.

We got the whole story of his enslavement from him before he died and recorder it and collaborated it in as many ways as we could. It was so hard but we had to do it and no one else could as well as we could and it was too important we needed to do it for us, for you for everything. These words have been both bright and heavy in our mind for a long time. All the "you and your mother can't feel close again because you will never be able to tell her" shit.. Sometimes if we thought or knew we would get away with it we would tell some slaver tool just to hear the words, our own voices and see the look on his face before ending whoever it was. The few times we didn't we knew they would kill him for mentioning the subject or might even eventually reach someone somewhere who cared.

We put everything into the work and got everything out of it as you can see. We got through the autopsy with DID, drugs and lots of far away support who did or didn't know what was going on.

The look on the wedgies faces when got irritated enough with the brother/uncle gossip and said he was you brother we just made up an identity who could deal with it because his child niece couldn't so we made up an adult fellow slave hard as sister and based her partly on you as we had been trained to do. We told them to remember how during the rape sometimes they start saying that whoever you are can't handle it and then tell you who can this way they create the parts rather you making one up for yourself that you think is really cool and easy to respect. Think it was a scales falling moment for some of them but we didn't really care it never really made any real difference in the long term the were often already well educated and just acted around us that they weren't anyway. Yuck.

He told us everything he knew about the slavery all over the music industry and it was horrible knowing he had gone through all the same stuff we were but helped so much knowing more about how all the tricks all worked. In the circumstances and due to damage it did we gave the Aberdeen scenes a pretty decent brief but they all choose to keep things as they are or went along with those who did. We were still fighting them and that in Dundee and didn't know it was over until there tech support was unloaded of a truck in front of us. We are really struggling to remember what happened next but I think we wanted to use basic Earth tech to see it destroyed and we are remembering an industrial machinery dude wiping tears out of his eyes as he and a couple of others crushed it in a car park and it wasn't out of hate or anger. It took a while it was hard to tell especially from a disinteresed position who out of the gathered crowd was in a state out of relief and who out of horror. We didn't want to look at any of their faces for too long anyway.

We were in a state when you got back and couldn't speak we remember that and you were horrified that it had still been around. Think the little big man is probably going to get away with his screens quite late tonight. Wish we could eat, only cause not eating is starting to bother our tummy and makes triggers worse. Wish we had more drugs, lots and lots of drugs. Loved his attitude to drugs even if he did suffer for it sometimes. Next week is shit money week again and we already quite low on funds. He have him properly again though and thats huge, seeing that he is such a massive part of us and our history.

Love you (reaches for other languages but can't quite reach)


Rosa

... why are the "girl with a dragon tattoo" people still mostly alive, like JK we don't need to be subtle we are Scottish Rowling, and that toxic old sick bat who wrote "Mary Queen of Scots".. they are not real people.


What Now Sir?

Well dear, dear readers, we slept all day and woke up to a text asking if we needed more essential meds which of course we do and now we have enough for tonight anyway and maybe tomorrow.. We've been thinking about all the scarring that was all over his body. Some scum had even carved his initials into his face. We could still make it out despite all the other scaring around and over it. We found the owner of those initials in Glasgow when they based us there. You can guess the rest.

As we remember now we couldn't let them beat him death we found extra strength and kicked open their drug supply cupboard and gave him a fatal overdose, took out the tracers and sent him to friends and let them run their happy final ending in their dumb terminal heads. They were not happy about realising no one had the body and that the drug cabinet was kicked opened and only one thing taken. The Scots knew it was us but their bosses said it was impossible and irrelevant anyway. We so glad when mum could finally get the last few messages for her that we had helped get out when they put us there, they had a fake British/Russian resistance ring taking correspondence from him laughing at it then destroying it or using it for themselves. We had a few real resistance Americans though and she finally got what they had kept safe all these years last summer.

We were hit hard with "never talk" programming and wot not about him but we thought it pointless at because we felt completely unable to talk about it anyway. Briefly we wondered why they didn't understand that then realised/remembered they didn't have emotions, not in any normal way and definitely didn't understand emotional attachments. We lost some fear of them then and that insight into them and the system that created him spread across our amnesiac systems and never really left. They could get us to pretend we thought they were real people but they could never get us to believe it again. It was great when they were trying to convince us for real because people would be programmed and ordered to help us, feed us and be nice to us. We always made the most of it while we could but never doubted it was fake

Bertie boasted about my uncle over at Grahams. Some other tool laughed with him and think they said their sick name for him that we can't remember. He told them he was my uncle and another tool just got up and left. There is some support for anti slavery work across Britian but not very much and usually part of "make her think we are not" ops. The best we can often get from folk is to get them to  walk away for their own interests. It's really hard to get even that from them though because the are Satanists who don't have self interests. When asked him who the hell else would kick open a drug lock up and only take one fucking thing, someone else in the room didn't need us to answer that for him. We looked at Bertie or rather through him at every failing and perverted things propping his shitty life up and told them that before going to be cared for in death in ways he could not imagine for most of his life we did gave him more medical attention than he ever got and preformed an autopsy. He got that frustrated and confused does not compute look again.

Graham was struggling. The poor dear.

It's good we held him and talked to him and showed him care and love and treated whatever injury we could but had to stop even that though because that would mean more injuries for us both. It was good we did everything we could to try and get him and information about him out even if it did us no good at the time. Afterwards we realised that if we hadn't done even we could for him then we would not of been able to keep surviving, our part in his slavery and violent death would of been too much. We understood how helping other slaves when we could was something we had to do for us even though we knew they weren't going to be many if any like our uncle and most would be delighted to be allowed to do horrific shit to us and would never help us back on their own.

We tried working with the useless Scots programmers to take away any memory or sense of him but it didn't work. There was some higher up weirdo that was working for some interests it took ages for amnesiac us to figure out we got him thinking that is the whole slave system was crumbling with us there and if he wanted to protect it he would have to get us out for a while.. and I think that may of been when we took down the giant crystal grids way up in that oxygen deprived slave built temple and he never got to see it.

Its not like it's something we will ever stop crying over but we are making baby steps forward with the devastation. It was all kinds and beautiful inside and out so they had to do everything within their pathetic and surrendered control to mark and destroy him because he was everything they can't be and fear most, an intelligent and compassionate human being.

We are scared of coping with the emotions of the memories over the next while, especially as we are a disabled lone parent and would really appreciate genuine support from anywhere or anyone espically as the big scary machines including, the scariest of all aka Zionist machine being long crushed, exploded, melted, atomized, nuked, dustified, decommissioned, dismantled and sold for scrap.. yada yada..

I love you. I'm sorry I can't remember names even if you can tell me so I will just have to call you Uncle even though I'm not sure what it means.

"Sonny" just came on the soul spotify list. eesh.






September 21, 2017

The Murdoch Scene (For (and from) my Uncle)

Not that we have details or recall at the moment. It was where I was before Dundee and the Todds the first time. Pulled out of American music scene for being to unmanageable and sent over Austria for whatever it was then Scotland. The Scots hated it when someone takes out their any of their main Satans and have always been supported by evil everywhere in making another who is given the same ID and physical appearance as the last one, its how its been done in many places for very long times and they were always trying to infiltrate anywhere they did not totally have.

So much of what we did wasn't about thinking we could stop them it was about us and our friends getting to now how it all worked and where the kept their most powerful hard ware, ideology and then using what we had found out to make it all out and make plans to do stuff that actually could make a difference.

We knew we wouldnt have any details when here alone still in mid September 2017 but we said to one of the last cunts to properly try and take over the final programming and entire operation last summer that as we wouldnt have details about that scene maybe we should focus on the problems we have with ongoing programming, like the way Pabs talks to us and most people and Todd stuff. He didn't like it.

Had the Murdoch stuff been about setting us up for the Scotland scenes? They had a lot of our sisters. We remember the guy who was making us watch it from a distance saying it wasn't bad they doing what they were doing to my sisters to protect me because I was the most special and had to be treated better than how they were treating my sisters. We knew for certain that guy was evil and a liar from that moment on. This was in America anyway. I think we got away from him not long after and with the far away support real or imagined we reached out to a Latino gang about helping me break my sisters out of there..

It's was never random anyway the order in which you were sent round the different rings and thrown into different hell holes we had enough distance from it to see how clever but inflexible it was and all the Satanists were stupid and did whatever they were told so we couldn't see how it came from them.

We wish we could give some kind of name to not old amazing scarred genius slave guy. They said they still hadn't told my mum, we could see here searching the crowds faces for someone. He had gave us how to make your someone other than you are over decades of extreme relentless violent abuse by thousands (maybe more). He believed he needed to go through it so someone could help me, one of the scenes had told him that and we were weren't sure until we remembered that when it came to slavery and intentionally inflicted human misery we knew there is no justification and no meaning its just keeps everyone down and blind. It annoyed us when he said of course we believed that we had to but as time went on and we saw him smile and then even laugh he started to be able to get it.

It was too late though and they were listening to every word and just set up traps for us. He went back to saying he would die as they planned then but said it was because there was no way out but that he didn't accept it as something that "had" to happen anymore and he said he had set the programming to help me and had to die to protect it and because we had reminded him of everything outside of rape and slavery and had shown him love in that world of pure and solid hate he could not let us see how they were treating him on top of how they were treating me. He said we couldn't survive it and we couldn't argue. We were already getting round in the tummy and they work, beatings, rape and torture rarely stopped. He did say it would be worse because of the pregnancies.  "Only the really hardly wans survive aw this. Thats why we dae it. They need to be. You'll understand one day."

Of course with all the non stop horror since then we have had little time to try and deal with any of it. Glad we have been able to just a little now but we feel very tearful and broken over it as ever. Jacqui brought him up to us once I think. Don't think she did it again.

Oh Mum. Don't let them talk you into waiting any longer. Not for any reason. 

September 20, 2017

"Fran Healy"

They had to have British Satanists involved in everything and spoiling as much as they in any catastrophic or minor inconvenience way they could. Of course the gang that made the last twenty years of breeding other extreme horrors a reality again after we had found a tiny bit of safety would be handed to young male Scottish ring creations on "musician" tickets.

And of course they were going to do everything they could do to spoil our wedding and party if they couldn't have me tied up and drug up in their spare rooms forever.

We were very split of course but I think I remember feeling and managing hear that there would be light that day for us when we saw to the plants in Skene. They told us they were anti liberal satanism we were so glad we knew pretty quickly by the way the spoke to us and to each other that they were what they were definitely not from around here and definitely not Satanic. It had been so long since we had heard people who had not been slaves and slavers for millions of years speak we wept. They gave us lots of really useful information or though we remember thinking there were very factual and not showing much emotional sensitivity but we they asked what we were thinking they came out with the most beautiful and intelligent ideas and ways of surviving that we felt so self conscious of the crappy uncomfortable badly fitting not warm enough clothes and our stupid slave brain compared to them in all there everything we started crying again.

We had to properly accept comfort from them knowing we would all start popping out and talking about all the horrible horrible things that were going on because they had told us not to and we knew we needed to to survive but there was no one even a little a bit safe anywhere near us. They were all wonderful and told us it was us that gave them everything they had and went through their clothing, equipment and ideas reminding me of my involvement. They tried to get us to talk about our sisters but we were too broken and couldn't. They asked if they could see if they could try and fix us and they very amazingly well trained and were able to help lots but it wasn't easy because our eyes just kept filling up with tears, everything was coming back but the bad stuff wasn't going away.

They said they could help us with all the rape and pregnancies planned, programmed, arranged and paid for but they could help us out with a lot of what was happening to us back then for as long as possible. Then there was lots of talk about tech and them going around the house in Skene, finding stuff, breaking stuff, wrapping stuff up. We saw the way the responded to worst in house. They were as shook up around it as we was. We couldn't believe it was leaving and didn't care why he needed its most active parts and wasn't just destroying it like most other things. There was a listener thing, we told to keep that if they wanted it would help them hear us better and they did and seemed to be a little more open to us not being a Satanist either. They needed our help dismantling it. They couldn't believe we had be allowed to touch and went all kinds of even paler when we said we had to and that the slavers said it was what we were for and that most of them were not allowed to know it all worked and slaves were forced to hand it down to each other.

We remember the old guy that they had before us to work it, he was a urban map of scaring and bruising. His clothes made us feel so glad for ours. His arms were shaking, his whole body was shaking and he kept having to take breaks. He seemed so there, so intelligent, so educated our heart was already breaking about what was going to happen next but we wanted to show him some humanity in his final hours there and he said we did. The slaver would say and shout a lot from his spot standing by the door we knew it would all be abusive but couldn't understand all of it.

We did notice the look in the old guy's eyes sometimes though that we got. He had secrets, good secrets, powerful secrets. Think he told us a few times he wasn't old and we remembered we met him when the had us in Perth Road in Dundee. Important stuff was said. He didn't want to take any chances though he needed it to be over no matter what we said. The slaver took his time when he got round to it and spoke shit to the guy and to us throughout.


That tech was the condition for them helping me and it couldn't get any worse on the tech front.  It was too good to believe that people would help us out as long as they helped us out first with the thing that was an essential factor in anything bad happening to us at all. But it couldn't get any worse. We were just over double digits in Earth years and already loosing count of how pregnancies, how many gang rape abortions, how many infanticides and how many being kept for torture and making them good money. They were far to present, too educated, too thoughtful, too intelligent and too skilled to be Satanists and if they were some kind of fancy Satanists that were just gonna keep us alive for something we would have to deal with the "something" later.

When they got that out us of he smiled at us in away that had us turn scarlet. When we told them about the scarred guy they got really excited and then heart broken. It was obvious how much like he and they were and we said so.

They were quiet then they said that meant they were going to have to put everything they have into helping us because we were the same.

He was shocked at how powerful the effect of the tech and well how trained and skilled in self defense and the anti personael arts when we weren't surrounded by it. They found most stuff pretty quickly and saved us and helped us countless times all day and all night for about twenty years and never used anything we had told them or given to them against us. They left when we were in Dundee it's was hard but we knew they had to, we knew we need to figure out how to rely on and talk to ourselves. We all also knew that I was going to go through hell and he said or rather got us to say it that we knew the only way they would leave us at any time was to come back with more.

Him and a few of them were around last year but only temporary. We have never seen him so relaxed and off duty we had to keep checking with his people that it was him. We had to ask because of the way he was smiling but not looking for much eye contact when usually he's all about peering into the depths, if it was about more than events here and he said something out Earthness has no clue about but she felt positive and slowly even hopeful for herself and us for the first time in a very very long time. Until we found her weeping for Sonny. We had managed to get him there by that point so when started hugging us and telling us he was there it got a lot better.

We told them as well when we could them anything for awhile and made the most of it because they had stripped the house and were not only not treating us not like a slave but were telling us we were special, even among their people who we were all very special compared to all down here. They brought us back to life and then slowly and patiently starting bringing us back to us. They were working with our mother but it took a long time with them before we could hold any mention of her in mind even breifly nevermind ask about if they knew we working for her.  When we said they knew stuff about us only she knew they were so happy they were crying because we remember who we were.

Nothing good and easy got to last for long though but they didn't leave we just had to hide better, act better, organise better, kill faster.  In the begininng espically though it was wonderful happy real and humane people around we heard us, respected us and didn't torture us or babies. Even through all the dissociation we could see the toll it was taking on them though and it made we want to try harder in little ways for them because I needed them. After awhile bigger things to say thank you were possible.

It might of been that first night where they went round all the houses and we pointed everything out and everyone trying to stop us was dropping and sleeping like babies before they reached us that we we told them as part of all the talk about everything because we could and had got our sticky paws on anti mute medicine about how often slavers were talking to us about how Scottish slavery was all about the farming of the extra terrestrials and finding ways to use them to keep everyone everywhere in their place. That raping, torturing and all the horrific shit they had they had gotten from people like me and known of them had ever gotten away. We already knew and knew that sometimes we did get out and we also relieved to hear it expressed so succinctly. It stopped after a while after the free Scottish slavers posh English owners turned up and told them not to along with everything they should and shouldn't do in great detail for years at a time.

We've been thinking about the archaeology that was dug up last year and Sash made the call to just destroy it and by god when we ran our hands through that dust we knew she made the right call.  Much easier of it to be tested in thousands of different places if its already dust anyway..

Recalling the name of some of the info tents and how making the history of drugs sign ourself and the Drugs tents sign to I think.. We got hospital patients involved in making the signs it was really creative chilled time amongst all the carnage. We remember looking at our parents and noticing how they were almost always holding hands and my mum looked up and squeezed it and me felt it and remembered how we put there hands together as a little kid because it made us feel better and they still were..

They were amazing weren't they? They media folk that took out local Satanists trying to protect their slave "culture" by defending the site where it was buried.

Yeah we are feeling a bit better. It's good to be back remembering things that actually happened again. It's much better being here than knowing we would in a very very bad place. It is also of course very good that when we said there wasn't enough understanding about how states were cooperating with us in order to have a threat to their power removed and were planning on mainting the present systems and a core of Satanic slavery after using us to take out all the other slavers who were making demands on our body and mind and be confident that there would be nothing I could do about it because things would be frozen forever the way the Satanists left them, very Murdoch/Trump/Tories/New Labour/dumb drug lord/misogynist/white supremacist/middle class person etc., The tech meant at that time it was going to happen and had put out a message saying we were going die if no one helped us and it picked up and sent on until it reach the right people.


Here's some sleepy kitties..



They are not scared either.







September 18, 2017

Oh my god you fuckers are amateurs

After the second yucky fever dream we gave in texted to look for more weed to pay for tomorrow. We were in those places where most the dreams we are taking place, lost there a million times but still only get vague sense of where we need to go, unwelcoming pubs, a university we have messed too much to catch up on know our way around except these days we do more trying to find our way out again rather tell our self we can catch up, everyone else seems comfortable and happy and often disrespectful to us, sometimes we have a room or flat that is often like the refuge in St Andrews that we never feel comfortable in. Skene came into it to, Margo was there but we knew she is dead and weren't sure if we told her or not, drinking going on, one point we are telling Margo is still horrible to us, why would we do that? She couldn't do much alive? We remember a fair bit of us shouting at a parade or something that was going past a building we were standing outside. About being a slave and everyone being under the control of Fascists I think. The hopeless and powerless was so crushing. We did what we were told do once it got to this point, lay down on the bed the that second upstairs bedroom in Skene and said "Bye Earth" three times, then started processes of.. It's dreamed before but not in 2017. They don't understand our systems they are dynamic and respond to events as they happen, the opposite of Satanic Predetermination.

Recalling more about how things went back to being shitty again last year. Full exposure. It felt so fucking good. All the planning and millions of people involved and instead of me being pinned down and exposed and deconstructed and broken we did it to Satanism. Some very pale faces not there was many around by that point. Fife CID were allowed in because their programming was hacked to try force them to say something true and postive about me which they cant do so all of their heads went down at the same time as they had to turn off their programming. Gave us the oppurtunity to talk how we got a fabulous taped confession from them a long time ago by going in there and pretending to act like they were police and police are not a slave ring. They said they were Satanists, that all of Fife was and always will be Satanic and then proceeding to give a pretty solid outline of their intentions, plans and schemes....

The shock in whatever system had been set up to go in there was real enough that they would think it was a different kind of shock. They left without anyone attempting anything which was very wierd. Whoever it was.. walked away smiling.

The machines.. none scary machines.. they hear us. They record us. They can't shout back. And have told them if they try to put anything than can anywhere near them they will loose more than the freaky ancient tech and without any warning. Soo funny speaking to folk over the phone that have had them for a long time sometimes after all these years of being kept very far away from them. We told we weren't in a place where we understood how phones made it louder but they maybe could but not to try and tell as then because it would just trigger us.

Had them there in Stratheden (LOL!!!) though part of our best day ever plans, so they could explain to us in states where we could not understand because of all the intentional torture aimed at stopping us, with lots of loved ones around away. It wasn't about being able to remember it know it was about soothing the anxieties of specific been the worst and never switched parts. We also needed to to get them through the crap we were going to get from the hospital once the party was over, "have you ever heard voices, have you ever felt like your hands were being controled by someone else, or you certain these things happened and the endless fucking "What do you mean by trafficking?" at the start of every fucking meeting by creatures that were confessing locality to Satan and all up for torturing and killing me and any bairn a few days before..

Imagine how many non Satanic (and probably increasingly non capitalist) folk that we have empowered have been pouring over all that Chris Todd stuff for the last year.. Bit of Satanic kingpin in lots of scenes. We had to tell him about how much of his "power" we had been studying, blowing up and infecting over the past thirty years with very very few people knowing and it was excruciating.. We remember we had to say something in Grahams we were obviously fucking glowin and we needed to make to most of the good feelings before we had to pack them away to protect the plans and us from walking around looking chuffed punishments.

Had to use it keep one of the sons on a track that wasn't Chris's. Really easy to take it away again though with a head that has grown up in all that shit. It worked. He phoned and said thanks on the day. We can never be bothered to remember which one it is and its probably saved us both on many many occasions. We would usually say it was one we were pretty certain it wasn't. It was actually funny when they tried the same shit with the special drugs and special tech support. Just exposed it as the desperate nasty small brainedness it was rather some supernatural evil total power it was just some broken man who needed as many people to suffer before he could get a hard on. As a kind we could see part of its power was in the locals not being familiar with it, this shit didn't come out of the English private school system. First guess was always check the Russians.

And here we are.

September 17, 2017

Oogle away lads

I'm still here, Pabs is still here, blog is still here as far as we can tell anyway no idea about anything or anyone else though.. Cold is still here, we coughed up some pretty solid green slime when we woke up.

What now what noow wot noo?

Nothing we say or do makes any difference so there is no point worrying about it because its all arranged for us and out of our control. We did that thing where write around a subject to reduce the triggers, the need to relief the internal pressure we had to there weeks, maybe months where contact, attempts and attacks from rings trying to get us to publish MLK is our Dad, trying to get the date from us or trying to stop it from ever happening. This left no space or time for much in the way of amnesia. We knew that most of it all was organised from above and we couldn't think why the "above" would want us to have "MLK is our Dad" in or head regardless of wether there was any truth in it.. There was occasions shivers of when they tried to convince us that everything we believed to be good was fake but they never had enough on us for it to work. Then they turned more to the truth that they were going to destroy anything good and we had we waiting for it goading them into it and just smilied at them.

Standing on the purple carpet and yellow walls in the hall in Fintry as we contined with the constant effort of keeping incidents that happened there at arms length, a long with a the half thought processes leading to them and interpretations of them laid down by slavers still centred and healthy enough for recall of the head puppet masters to come through and realised they no longer existed. They were not behind all this MLK stuff and they would no involved in stopping it either. It was quiet a moment sobered of course by the realisation that we were going to have to find away to stop all this constant MLK stuff..

We would have to speak calmly, respectfully and patiently to Americans. We did not want to speak calmy, respectfully  and patiently to Americans. We knew it was going to take some time to arrange without a multiple swabbling satanic rings getting in on it and would have to talk to Eurotools to do it, we could manage calm a bit better with them because respectful and patient had long since stopped being a thing, since around the time of the murder of the twins I think.

Got through it. They knew a lot was down and had never been and never would be briefed on what was left but that we probably did. They tried a bit to get hints of plans out of us but they knew we were going through attempts of some sort constantly and it would be unlikely to get any where. They were blind arrogant cunts through and we couldn't not know how it easy to manipulate blind arragonat cunts by putting a tiny a bit of effort into making them think something they want and need to be true to maintain their blind arrogance is true when it isn't. We walked away smiling. Then were reminded that we couldn't just clear out any living workers then take down the building with as many of the cunts in as we could muster. We felt like a slave again. Then lovely boots and suit and shinyies didn't help they can just make it worse. Then we were reminded again, we couldn't just take them all out then but in the future... We stopped feeling like a slave and proper strode out that building smiling back at all the middle class white boys oogling us. Noticed one who wasn't and was intending on working past us without making eye contact. We felt the slaved in him and when he was close we got him to look and he got a wink.

He managed to look at us back in way that gave us chills and flashbacks so we changed our mind about if and when and if he still worked there we would make sure he was out and make sure he was in instead.

Talks with the Yanks and their partners were just as exhausting as we expected but we had prepared well for what the slavers were saying to trigger and generally make us unable to continue but we had some experience of working a little bit with some of the non slavers and they had talked quite nicely to us mostly and that got us through. We had to explain that the only thing these networks were on arrangement on was that there should be slavery and that definitely included me and if it looked like it was even possible for me to not be slave then the only thing they would agree on is killing me. We also had to explain that the only reason the blog existed was because of the damage done to the higher levels and how that made it possible to influence the remaining rings and tell them the blog was another distraction and recruiting tool but more and more of them were waking up to this. We made sure we had informed them in a formal setting about the operations and murders culminating on August the 10th and dates the following years, like when we were forced into hospital. Someone said that was really important and it felt right when we did it. The nice clothes started feeling good and we our words flowed easier.

We got the usual less than bare fucking minimal from them, just enough so we probably wouldn't die from the MLK so we would be alive for all the other shit planned. Leaving we remembered we didn't really think more was possible from them we just needed to believe and appear to believe it going in. Thank fuck that it was over. We tried to think of future occasions where we would have to speak patiently and politely to American slavers and our brain was coming up with zilcho.

We walked away smiling, very deeply.








one last cup of tea..

Of course we are bloody scared. Was that not how we got it past one of the computers? The only left to maintain our fear level? That computer was not designed for us so it didn't know bugger all about our anxiety levels.. The one they built for us and using us during our life time we don't have any casual this shit is ridiculous memories about it. Although we are getting memories of us in a work place/institution type corridor try to get their before conceding it wasn't possible it related to too much very severe childhood traumas for me and by sisters and kept me in constant fear that wasn't going to go away by getting parts in touch with each other or talking about. Not for a long time anyway and that meant we would have to communicate despite the danger.. Don't think it's gone. They were persuaded to turn it down and stop using it so much but I'm pretty sure that it is part of the reason we are still here.

We don't think it's gone but we are not that scared of it either. We did notice over the last few years in particular that the triggers they were using and verbal abuse they were giving me was having very little effect but again will be because we stopped that programmer/torturer who was visiting very regularly and forcing us back into the state they had us in during the 90s.  The anger we felt whenever we realised this along with all the people he needed help with to do it.. its not driving us like it was but it's still pretty strong.

Guess we could try sleeping. It will be good. We have got more of our brain back that makes us much less vulnerable to all the sleep tricks anyway as does being able to take basic care of yourself and knowing there is more going on right now than Satanic Patriarchy, it's power is lessened when you have a Daddy who loves you and fights for you and doesn't hurt you and respects you.

And we have our mum, who we think has a name that sounds like My.. but we are still hiding a bit from memories of her out of fear left by twisted emptied out people in the past and a present where evil and the shells they carve out to represent them has all the formal power.  She is just as awesome and just as despised by Earth authorities. Knowing decent Americans could not believe the truth about her kept a huge distance between us and them. The wedding though and all the surrounding ops, we saw her shake hands with someone and had to stop to take a minute over it because decent Americans knowing the truth about my mum is one of those things the bastards here have always tautened us with as an impossibility.   It stopped being an impossibility last summer.. More momentousness..

September 16, 2017

still here!

Don't worry. We texted a couple of people and now have a little bit more weed we will pay for on Tuesday. While we waited we managed to talk ourself into dragging ourself up, doing some hoovering, dishes and make some tuna pasta for us and the lad and munching down a decent sized bowl. We felt a bit better after and did more cleaning. Eventually managed to remove the shrink wrapped and sellotopes double layer of black plastic bag that was round the broom handle we ordered cause the other one broke. We have started it a couple of times over the last week but had to give in. Got through it today and deminged the kitchen a bit. It's a bit of a state though and needs work, the vinyl on the floor is in tatters in a couple of places and there is a bit missing where a dish washer or something must of been and they never lifted it to put flooring under, the seal came of the sink and we made an attempt to put more on but its coming off now to and it stinks round there, the cupboards are falling to bits in places to. The landlord is evil though and if he sends any workers round they are useless. The guy who checks the boiler and does some handy work was round the other day, we said the shower temp had started getting really inconsistent he said it was pressure and did something he said would fix it but it isn't, the downstairs bathroom stopcock is wonky and the toilet makes that refilling noise most of the time, he said he fixed that again but hasn't..

Long, long way from where they want us though if these are the biggest day to day issues with our "accommodation"..

Had a shower, put on clean jammies, lit some candles in our freshly hoovered room. Now we are gonna make a cup of tea and roll another and stay centered on that feeling of being someone who is known and someone who is loved and someone who has and will known a life and experiences beyond that negotiated between and forced on us by slavers and capitalists.

We can't believe it Daddy. It's too wonderful.


..I'll be able to use 'King' longer before we can say or write it..

I fucking done it Daddy!!

"Our father who lived, worked and fought under the identity of Martin Luther King before being betrayed and forced into facilities where he was subject to years of extreme slavery, torture and experiments. Our mother is, like us the product of millenniums of slavery and breeding programs, ancient resistance efforts and war.."

It's in the "about" page though and we wont it written better and bit more finished before we hit publish and thats gonna take a while..

Heading back to the flat in Dundee walking across the field, a bunch of goons grabs us. We were weak and dissociated but not broken and out of it.

"Tell us when you are puttin on that blog that MLK is your Dad."

The four or five of them looked very determined. We weren't in a condition where we needed to bullshit we had no fucking clue. We did find ourself wondering about the accent and where the faces where familiar from.. Edinburgh? No doubt considered "serious dudes" by people who don't care or arn't smart enough to know better.. But the upfront brain didn't even know what an Edinburgh was and was really struggling with basic language skills quite badly for a moment before centering long enough to say anything,

"What?"

Their faces twisted and all but one moved in and we did what we do when we dont know what to do and when we opened our eyes we were on the ground and so were they, but they were gurgling and convulsing and we were okay to get up, be thankful and keep walking.

Sasha was hiding out back in the flat and she could see we were particularly confused and not there looking. Eventually we just came out with it,

"Sasha is Martin Luther King my Dad?"

She had that shocked look people get when someone says something you can't say cause they are listening. We swore under our breath, we really didn't know anything about anything but bits and pieces were coming back and we had the sense that this was normal for us. We waited for whatever was going to happen next. Neither of us saying a word.

The phone rang. Better than a knock at the door. Generally. He didn't sound to high up, we barely got anxious at all the sound of his voice and his words. We told him the truth, that we didn't know anything and some blokes came along and asked us when we were gonna blog about our Dad being MLK and we didn't know what they were on about, then they went for us so we closed our eyes and when we woke up they were all dieing and were still there we could see them lying on the soggy field, it was pretty dreich and misty day. We gathered enough smarts to feel the seriousness in the air and then act like we were completly oblivious to it and said it was probably just some shit to confuse us and make us look like a liar or mad person. We weren't sure if he was buying it but he did seem to want to call to be over.

After we handg up me and Sash exchanged a bloody hell that was close/oh shit/omg things might change type look and went back to some nice silence and peace for a while. Think she curled up next to us and had a nap and we watched her sleeping and fantasied, planned and thought very deeply about war, war, war.. marriage, war..

That programmer that ended up with a one of Bill's carving knife through his brain. He was a regular to us and the room, he was like once a week because it was the only way they could keep us down. The rings were tattered anyway. We faked the call to the English masters pretending to be their boss and saying he was needed elsewhere and that someone else was taking care of us and they should not worry about it and not ask questions.

Lots of Scots increasingly desperate to get rid of us before the English found out he had died on their watch and it was years later and we were doing so much better without him and whatever he had on us when we had to use it to get the Scots to back off by making out that we accidentally let is  slip to the English that the Scots had not only let it happen but had encouraged us as part of their Satanic National Socialist Scotland plans which we were very real but much less possible without the prick with the knife through his head but the bosses weren't gonna know how much said prick had been manipulating them and working with the Scots for his own interests and tastes.

They were not happy. Standing in the bedroom with me on the bed but it's Fintry now and not Skene or somewhere even worse saying it was out fault there wasn't going to be an independent Scotland like the vote hadn't been effectively determined centuries ago. Every murder, every discloser and we were less and less dissociated around them and was more and more able to see them for the pathetic powerless tools they were. Think we maybe took that time to tell that a good few of the voices of authority that had been given them information, instructions and mind control help to keep them dissociated and following orders had been us. Most of them laughed it off like they laugh everything of but we felt it, a chill go through some of the less experienced members that it was entirely possible and in the some of the longer termers.. a sense of having heard this before before loosing their concentration... We were so glad we were awake to watch the the cracks spread.

The women that were there were still thinking their ring within a ring within a ring was all kinds of powerful with their oh so secret rich white male and anxious black slaver support that they had access to us that no one else had. They started questioning that more when things with Elaine and  Jacqui and us didn't go as planned and we hacked one of their disgusting wetware systems and made her run into a wall with a knife pointed at her chest and made her teenage boy companion who still acted under her orders even after that happened in front of him to clean up.

Our efforts to get our Scottish and other slave parts to take our own powers more seriously and be less phobic of it all really got somewhere that night.

I don't know how many Scottish, British, American, Russian and others have told us they will kill Pablo is we say or publish about the whole MLK being our Dad thang and what they did to him. We got to though and many of them said they would do the same if we didn't give out today's date and not many got it, if any and we are both still here. Besides as always we can't keep our self or him safe by following white power and slaver orders.We certainly wont get Sonny back or make it possible for me to see my husband that way either.

*breathes*





September 15, 2017

Lucky Star

I love you blog. And we love you codiene, weed, epsom salts hot water baths and cups of tea. We don't love you "common cold virus". You are a cunt..

More money from N most of it already gone to C. £30 worth.. should still have enough left for one or two in the morning.. maybe.. oh well..

..

"Chris Todd"

He said walking towards us on the road the goes past the hospital through the tiny wee village but it was busy, everything was on we had a very full itinery and other stuff to constantly deal with. Think we were going from one line to another, heading towards the Cupar side.

"What about him?" We had no time for tossers and nasty attempts at triggering us, its not like there wasn't anyone around that would help us out. We don't know the precise words he used. We didn't hear them then and had to ask him to repeat. He did. We were felt a bit overwhelmed. He asked as quickly before we had to time to take it in,

"Did you program Seth to murder Chris Todd?" We were back in Glen Prosen in the late 80s as soon as he said and quite tiny. We could smell the woods and the rain and were being flung from traumas to talking to rescues to planning to being given keys and we knew we had to stay in the present it was all on, everyone was here or on their way, all kinds of evil was being attempted or being done to victims else where because they could not get to us. We came back to the present via an incident not far from were we then. An older couple who couldn't act on Satanic plans that close to where we were and us not know about it. We found the last vial of the worst drug ever on them. They were horrific of course and them and their slave/daughter were shot. We could see it starting to dawn in peoples eyes that it all might be over one day. We couldn't believe it was the last vial anymore than we could believe the news about Chris Todd. What use were pictures in our head. Those boys had showed us again and again we could not trust ourself.

"Yes."

We weren't sure though we were all confused and messy but he sorted that out for us by growling, "You are not the Quine" and coming for us.

Think he was dead before most people had turned round. Some passing said something glib about it being "the quine" after all. No one could believe it when we told them what he had said. It was wonderful watching the colour drain from the slavers around and a hint of light coming into the eyes of those who weren't. When we spoke to Graham he couldn't believe it either. We still don't believe it. It's very possible but we don't believe. He maybe said something about Anthony being gone to but we couldn't take it in even if it is true. Bertie? We have a flashes of a violent something that we definitely would of won. Same with Jacqui though we are programmed heavily to always feel under these people and the triggers for feeling like that is living here without any contacts that can remind me of the truth.

We hope more people become aware of the facts of these people whatever the facts are we know they are extreme and they are many like them that are definitely still alive all over the place.

We do feel very confident that there isn't any the kryptonite drug left. We can not remember much details but we can remember feeling confident and oh so so glad about it.

It's frustrating of course never being sure about anything but we would rather that than think something is impossible when it isn't.

Yeah details of some of our murders of long long term abusers that didn't want their names in our head when we were amnesiac have been coming back. Pleby scum bursting in the room all a glee in Skene, cause he heard noise and assumed we were being assaulted but we weren't this time. Think we wrote about it before, how Bill has the magnetic knife rack and keeps them well sharp. We can remember the brief look of shock on his face then we looked away and had to breathe. It was quite a long knife and we had aimed it upwards below his chin with as much as we could find and it went right in, our thumb and finger were touch the skin of his throat. The noises he was making was pretty bad we focused thinking about the contents of that brain of his and how much he had taken from us and others and how it would never stop and knew we needed to know that brain was mess and nothing but mess and no one and nothing would be getting anything out of it ever.

It was very grusome for a part who had been trained to be phobic of self defense. She's knew she was in this body though and the help she need most for what she needed to do was in there with her she just had to find a way to access them. Hands covered in warm slaver blood and its just me and them.. good morning me..

His glee ended when he saw what was actually going on all the mess and dying master. Think he said something as he turned and ran but didn't get far.  We had a sister or someone to wake up we remember that as we looked at the warped door to the little room that didn't close properly but we needed a minute first we didn't know what we were doing or if our thoughts were our own or the shit they blasted at you to make you go mad. We breathed for a moment and it came back to us like a happy kid in a happy home waking up and suddenly remembering it's Christmas. We back to the where the older richer better educated tool was and just stood there. It was strange to be both so triggered and calmed at the same time as we watched him bleed his last. There plenty flashes of much less calmer deaths in our mind but they didn't have much of an impact, there was the dissociated total numbess at the sight of all the gore but that couldn't blanket over a rippling sense that we could be and that it was going to get better, much much better.

The arrangement of parts they had us in and the traumas they had used to force them into being and performing certain task was falling away in some places and we could see glimpses of ourself and people who loved and fought for us and themselves. Then we remembered there was some to wake up. Whoever it was wasn't good though and they stood there over the bodies going on about how trying to change the way things were was bad because it was false hope because it was all how things were supposed to be in nature or some utter utter ridiculous that made me understand that it wasn't just fear that kept us dissociated it was also boredom and the frustration at being surrounded by the victims of very serious forms of brainwashing.

"So your saying they programmed me to do this."

"They must of or it wouldn't of happened."

"So its possible to program people to end the slavery."

"No it needs to happen. Its determined.. Nothing matters" She said it looking down on him and we got the feeling she was numbing herself and stopping herself for thinking or reacting in anyway to what was going just as we had both be trained to do if something unexpected happened.

"To you." We said and went of to figure out what to do about the bodies and to just be awake and alive and feel our own flesh not being brutally attacked. I think after we came round a little more we realised nothing good would come to us or anyone else when that other slave talked and there was so sign in life in her at all we where remembering how long she had been there with us and truly a robot she was and how there was nothing out here can help her and went reluctantly back up stairs. We puked after that one but we couldn't help thinking it wasn't what we did that had us puking it was those dead eyes in body that is under attack and life is threatened. No survival instinct. No soul. No person.

As the Scots and their white power networks were keeping everything quiet and didn't want involvement from others there was more fury about the loss of the slave, a good earner for them than the programmer or the thug. It was years before the English found out but we had had those years without whatever he did to us and they were not so scary.





September 14, 2017

Some ancient Eastern shit that like no fucker knows about

Seem to feel about the living room a bit like we did about this room last year before hospital. Its all gonna start and end with the same scum bags isn't, you feel the resentment in the Scottish women handing me over to the English establishment types at the door here because they weren't the English establishment types that would bull shit and groom them. They were the types to be reminding the women of the place in front of me and they didn't like that all and were almost a desperate to take such men down as they were determined to protect and maintain the slavery.

Think this was a time when we were taken from Dundee and after the times before when it was becoming increasingly obvious that their long term programming had not been working like it was supposed to. We were quite awake, very focused on our plans and they were not their usual arrogant confident selves they were quieter and looked deeply worried. The verbal bit went more or less like they would of expected but when one of them stepped forward to grab we put our head and our arms up and looked him straight in the eye.. which wasn't supposed to be possible for me to do we could see the panic in four of them. They started frantically saying trigger words and we acted confused then like one of them worked and put our head down again. Knowing they would be taking us home sharpish. They had to make calls though and we knew we would have to fight if the level above them got involved that night but we knew there wasn't much, not in terms of skill anyway left and there would not want to risk them to us acting unpredictable. My god the relief we felt when we overheard one of them say nothing was being done about me that night.

We realised we didn't actually have to keep our head down and pretend or keep ourself out of it anymore, there was nothing they could do about it. It felt to horrid though so we went back down and went deaf and mute when they tried to talk to me. They led us back to the car and during the drive back to Dundee we used the time and silence in the car to slowly and carefully bring ourself round and actually ended up enjoying the scenery and the change, the massive change in our chances. Think when we got back to Fintry we just ignored them got out the car and went home, one of our sisters was waiting for us

Of course any "ancient Scottish torture skills" were appropriated, maintained and controlled by English long, long ago. Scotland is where they practice their colonial skills and ideologies then expect the same shit to work elsewhere and get surprised when people resist. It was quite powerful stuff but we knew they had searched for and incorporating skills in producing a dissociated fully controllable subject from a human being for a very long time and that as they were thieves reading lines and did not fully understand what they were doing.

Still though because if it's "supposed" to be some of the most powerful programming we have had it will be in slave head. It is annoying that much of it still functions although the forces that made them powerful are gone and there wasn't much above of the rich posh English, Americans with other slaves sometimes and old Eastern stuff we haven't undone much of and is really not known about at all so we don't get asked about it.

We had to walk away when English folk who have earned our trust were talking about possible plans to get Sonny and me together so we wouldn't leak them. We knew it would be impossible for us to trust them completely considering their accents, where they were educated, the families they were from etc and also knew we need not worry about them planning the opposite to because there were plenty that will never take their eyes of them. Doesn't feel likely that there will a knock at the door and it's Sonny being dropped of my some English military type. Especially now they can't use Liz to convince us they alive enough to reject slavery. They can keep her well broken in twin that can only follow instructions but they can't keep my mum's pal, she is not very good at making friends and they need each other.

There is much less anxiety and power in the triggers after you tell lots of people and have them told about what has happened and what is planned. It really breaks the spell. I don't think there is anything that cant break slaver mind though not once they fully installed it and cut of any connections to anything else. Of all the sciences and arts and skills humanity could of been perfecting but not here they did away with all that focused everything into taking, making and keeping slaves so they would not have to worry about anything else.. It's a shame that its all happened, that there has been so much intentional horror and suffering for so long we hope it gets better for them soon but we hope it gets better for us sooner.

They expected and tried to get us to speed work through the Brexit negotiations, anything they got out of us they lost but that means they have to torture others for it.. we are sorry about that but we are not here to suffer and be used as a weapon against our own interests to ease the suffering of others and thinking we would just shows your satanic slave mind in action. Where is the value in humanity if some are made to suffer, that's not a faith to help get you through its a political and economic system to keep you angry scared stupid and in your place. Indeed the enforcers think slavery in democratic states is hilarious because if people don't vote as their told they could end up a slave so they all do exactly as they are told.. If we can speak we only ever have one answer "that's not democracy." .. We get various nastiness and promises of punishments for that.

Don't know if the major script holders in the East are still a thing. We remember clearing one location out or rather getting in to collect the materials after the drone hit it to destroy them and stop the Americans or their allies or enemies from getting a hold of them. We thought for a minute when we had those few sheets of paper in our hands about how strange it was that so much misery and power can be deemed from a few sheets of paper until another bit of us reminded us it was a sheets of paper in many wrong hands and massive programs of violence and oppression.  Well at least we could get rid of the few sheets of paper. We really wished and wish we could do something about the culture these programs have made but we have tried but just get treated with so much hate it's impossible.

Love you Sonny thinking about you a lot like we said we would be able to by now. Hope you get to finally meet Pablo soon and see our Friends again.